Ordinary Day

As I am now home from work, I am in the mood to simply write down all the little things that occurred throughout my day. My little Best Buy job is such a tiny one. I feel I am such a little contribution to the world's work force, one of the "little guys". And yet, as with all things, someone has to do it. And so my small pet peeves, observances and amusements from my place of employment are here to read, for whoever may stumble upon them.

A 10 hour day today. Originally planned for 9 hours, but as my post before this one indicated, our car installer kept me there late. I think it was actually more like 10.5 hours if I recall.

Upon arriving, I was greeted by my immediate supervisor Laura, and asked to pass out flyers at the door which read, "10% off all YELLOW TAGGED open box items" and I naturally told her I would (begrudgingly) obey her request.

hmmmmm...the internal struggle begins


See, I hate doing this for 2 reasons.

One is the fact that I consider the primary focus of my job to be the prevention of theft. I keep my eyes on the security cameras as much as I possibly can. I HATE it when people steal. I've caught most of my theft from simply scanning the store (My cameras are controlled by a joy stick type of panel with many buttons, it's fun!) randomly, whereupon I happened to pass over people stealing, or at least attempting to. However, if I am going to hand out flyers, I cannot keep watching the cameras, can I? Not unless I split myself into 2 people. My desk - or "stand" if you want to call it that - is located between our front doors. Exit on my left. Enter on my right. I have to take about 4 steps to the right to successfully put the flyer into the hands of the customer. Otherwise, if I stay stationary at my post, I must beckon the customer to come to me immediately upon their entrance through our sliding glass doors. This, through the unspoken understanding of social skills and body language, comes off as rude.

"Welcome to Best Buy Ma'am/Sir" *Shoves flyer at them from my hand expectantly looking at them to come to me, as I stay put to my spot, offering up an explaination of WHY they should come grab this paper from me*

This doesn't go over so well with people.

Do people like to be solicited to, immediately upon entering a store?

NO THEY DO NOT!

Do I enjoy being the one to do this to them?

I hate it more than the customers do, believe me. Few things in this world make me feel worse about myself then INCONVENIENCING OTHERS!

Thus enters my second reason as to why I hate this task when it is assigned to me: My hesitance towards approaching others when I feel it is unwanted.

"Well, isn't that natural?" one may ask.

Yes and no.

It is natural to not want to approach someone when you feel you are not wanted. I, however, share this feeling a bit more strongly than others (ah, see my blog on why I suck at management!)

I would rather punish myself with a thousand lashings than suffer the awkwardness I feel when I realize I have offended someone. It makes me fold like an aluminum can crushed underfoot.

I'm sorry I want to say to them as I am forced to pass them out to people who neither give a shit about whats written on it, nor do they care for the fact that I truly do not want to be there doing that to them.

So why analyze such a simple task? It's only handing out a flyer. Surely it isn't healthy to analyze such trivial things so intensely, is it?

Maybe it isn't healthy, but I analyze EVERYTHING and so I can't help it. That's how I am I guess.

After handing out a few, I attempted to make it look like I was at least making an effort to hand them out whenever I would see that a manager was watching me. It's amazing just how many people of the general public enter into store with their cell phones plastered to their ears. Not one customer in that building goes in or out without me seeing them, as I am situated between the ONLY enter and exit doors. I get to observe people as if they were ants in an ant farm, due to my aerial view from my security cameras. They are fully exposed to me. Through this, I am aware of how people also act when they think no one is watching.

Oh, but someone is. *evil laugh* I see them argue with their spouse, pick their nose, scratch their ass, spank their kid, dance in the isle to music and grope their lover. We do these things when we think no one is watching I suppose. Yes, I shall be brutally honest. Everyone has at some in their life point picked their damn nose. Don't tell me you haven't! Bullshit.


I do not pass them to those with cell phones stuck to their ears. I do not pass them to people who have merchandise in their hands for returns, as I can see they are clearly busy or have their hands full. I do not pass them to the customers who are juggling kids, telling them to stop running in the store. I do not pass them to those who approach my desk immediately upon entering, because they are readying themselves to ask me a question. I do not pass them to those who are clearly engaged in conversations with other people upon entering. I do not pass them to people who are walking quickly, looking as if they are in a hurry. I even go so far as to not pass them to those who are entering, looking to their right, intently focusing on the direction OPPOSITE of me.

Through all this, I find an excuse in my mind not to trouble the person entering the door. I can't bring myself to do that. I begin to lift the paper in my hands, look at them and flip through my rolodex of excuses in my mind to not hand it to them, quickly settling on the first excuse I find.

I stop handing them out.

I don't want to be rude.

I listened for the sound of keys jingling, dangling from the waist's belt loop just as all the managers seem to have hanging from them. It's my warning that a manager is near or approaching. As I heard the keys, I would make sure I had a flyer in hand to at least appear I was handing out the damn things. I was uncomfortable for a few hours.

Laura left after a while though, and so I was left with just Joel and Paul running the store. Joel asks me to hand out flyers sometimes, but doesn't bitch at me for not being successful at it, which I am grateful for. I think he understands my shyness. Paul couldn't care less about the flyers, I can tell. He doesn't give a shit about them. After Joel left, I was free to throw them away.

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I flip through songs in my head throughout my days at work. I settled on one that made me giggle, remember a recent Youtube video that featured it.

Electric Six

Gay Bar

You!
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar,
I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.


....

And so on and so forth. Very amusing song, so bouncy and never fails to make me smile.

Ah, now what a dangerous song to sing to myself in my head! I might find it amusing, but I do have a hard time separating my intense thoughts from reality.

"Welcome to Best Buy" I greet the customers.

Sort of a programmed response, you know? I hear the door slide open, and the words are upon my lips immediately as I lift my head from my monitor while meeting the eyes of the customer.

With me, there is a problem with such "autopilot" responses.

They frequently mix with my internal thoughts that I never intended to spill forth!

"Welcome to gay....uuh....Best Buy!"


Thankfully, the "gay" bit was lowered to a barely audible whisper as an alarm went off in my head as to what I was saying, but my body wasn't responding fast enough to actually STOP the word from being forced out.

Instead, it ended up being a "gay" whisper.

Horrified at what I did, I told the nearest cashier what I'd done, thinking she would find it funny and offer some sympathy for my stupidity, but I think she thought I was joking.


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As I have said before, we as humans are growing more and more stupid. Most of us are taught the ABC's from a very, very young age. Maybe 3. Sometimes earlier. Whatever.

Anyhow, the point is, 99% of people should know their ABC's!!! I understand if you are from a country that does not incorporate this structure of alphabet into your language. Americans who speak English, however, should know the alphabet. That's a given fact. I'm sure I could ask any customer to recite them, and they could no doubt.

With that being said, people should be able to locate something that is alphabetical order, right? It DOES correspond with the very same structure of letters that I just mentioned, after all.

No.

They won't do it.

They either won't do it, or can't do it. Looking something up alphabetically has proven too much for the people in my region. It's fucking amazing and sad at the same time.

We are a large store, a little over 40,000 square feet. In our store, we feature electronics, movies, games, cds, appliances, computers, mp3 players, cameras, camcorders, wireless phones, car audio, home theater systems, TVs and many many other little items. Quite a few things! In the center of this store are the movies and music sections, very conspicuously labeled by gigantic signs, hung from the ceiling and looming over each department.

I watch customers walk all over the store sometimes, looking for an item, while ignoring the signs that are clearly posted above each department. I could understand if the signs were little, but no, they are HUGE. Each weighs around 100 pounds! They are practically billboards! They do not read them however, out of....laziness? Stupidity? Who knows why they do not read them, the point is, they don't. I watch them hopelessly search and search. Remember, I can see them with my cameras ;) I'm always watching.

Now this, in itself is sheer stupidity! They walk all over the store, ignoring the signs which point out where the items are.

Given this fact....given this observation...now wrap your head around this:

They will walk all over the store for something, with seemingly no direction or hint of where they are going and yet.... YET!.... when it comes to looking something up in alphabetical order - a STRUCTURED ORDER set in stone! - they look to me hopelessly and pitifully pleading for "help" finding it!

WHAT

THE

FUCK

Ha!

I actually was able to post a picture of me, taken with one of our store's many display computers which feature built in web cams. I am wasting time at work! This is AWESOME! I *never* get to do this! As it turns out, tonight I am waiting for our car installer to finish up his last car audio installation. Of course, since I am a part of the store's "security", I am the last person to leave the building, along with a manager. So here I wait... with nothing to do. This is pretty freaking sweet. I can't believe I am getting away with this. A part of me feels like I am doing something a little taboo... oooooh I am such a rebel!

My Job

If I intend to actually blog on a regular basis - which I would like to do, at this very moment, but that might change even tomorrow - then I'm afraid there will be possibly many entries regarding my job, and all the monotony that it encompasses. Basically, in other words, it might be a lot of nothing!

Working at Best Buy has allowed me to be exposed to the general public, much as I was with the job before that (a McDonald's manager....horrible job that). The general public is such a ....general term? Excuse the pun, but it's used so lightly. "General"... so vague obviously.

I would like to enter into the thesaurus of all thesauruses:
"General Public Synonym: IDIOTS"

I can list many other unflattering words, but my goal here isn't to sound like a pompous ass, although I am sure I would to many people. They just don't know... no really, you don't know. Maybe the IDIOTS just all flocked to Louisiana? Or maybe it's something in the water that turned them that way. Maybe it's our educational system, or the way the parents raised their children. It could be the media and it's efforts to brainwash our children or the expectations of society to favor vanity/materialism over brains/common sense. Perhaps our wits are diminishing, being eaten away by a lack of desiring of bettering oneself and replaced with ... air?

And perhaps ... I am over analyzing what caused people to become the way they are today.

Why do they act the way they do though? Seriously!

"Oh mister customer, you'll have to exit right out through this other door, please sir. That one does not open from this side you see..."




"But it says EXIT above the door!"



"Yes sir it does, but that label is there to indicate that it can be used as an emergency exit only."



"Well that's misleading, I'm gonna call yer corporate office!"



*internal monologue kicks in*



"Yes well, it also says DO NOT ENTER on the door, right in front of your face you dumb bastard, why don't you read it? You can read the EXIT sign above it right? So why not read the sign ON THE DOOR as well? Oh I see, you have selective sight, much like your selective hearing*




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A woman last November sees a sign in our store in the form of a poster that reads "I am Legend Starring WILL SMITH, Available Tues Nov 18th!"

"Do you got that I AM LEGEND?"



"No ma'am it isn't released yet, it comes out Tuesday."



"But I saw in yer ad that it was out!"



She then points to our poster



"Yes ma'am, but the ad and the sign both say Tuesday Nov 18th is the release date"



"Well that's false advertising!"



Woman leaves in a huff, angry and threatening to call "Corporate"



Please note that it was obviously not Nov 18th yet.

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Man wants to return a Zune because it "doesn't work" ... okay, fair enough right? It doesn't work, of course he should be able to return it. He asks the first sales associate that he sees if he can indeed return it to our store, even if he purchased it at another store. The associate reassures him that it's perfectly ok to do that, assuming the customer was talking about another BEST BUY branch. We get this question on almost a daily basis, so it's natural to assume that the customer was referring to another Best Buy store. It's also natural to assume he has half a brain, right? ... right? ... no, not really. He proceeds to customer service with his Zune, and of course the employee asks for his receipt. He claims he has none, so the customer service rep proceeds to ask him questions that would assist her in finding the receipt for the sake of returning the product. He then admits he bought it at Wal-Mart. He is denied the return on the product.



*internal monologue: NO SHIT!*



"I wanna speak to yer manager!"



"Yes mister customer, my name is blah blah manager, how can I help you?" -.-



"blah blah customer complain bitch moan whine, they said this, and he said that and she says this, and my dog did that, and it goes like that, and who done it!"
(translation: "I want to return an item to your store that I clearly admit to purchasing at wal mart, and I dont underastand why you won't let me")



"Sir I am sure our sales associate probably thought that you were referring to another Best Buy branch whenever you asked him/her that question. I am sorry, but I have no way of returning an item to our inventory that you clearly bought at another store"



"You mean to tell me that you don't stand behind your product?!?!!!"



*gasp*



"No I won't, because it's NOT my product!"



"I'm gonna call corporate on yoooou!"



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And of course there are so many of these stories that the list could go on forever. You see, I realize these things are little. They are trivial! They are tiny, I know. They are certainly not things that ruin my day. I've seen people behave this way everyday. But then again, that is the problem. It's every day. Each and every day... people are getting more and more stupid. Add up all the tiny, trivial things and you get one big picture of how the south ... sucks.


Yes, I am prejudice. I can't stand the south. Most of my customers that are from up north speak coherently, have intelligence, possess patience and exhibit the fact that they have BRAINS, not to mention manners. People in the south (especially Louisiana) seem to be lacking in all these. I can tell my customers apart, when they are not from here. It always comes about in conversation, and only confirms my suspicions.

I get people in asking for the strangest things as well....

"Where is your grocery department?"

"Where are your throw rugs?"

"...pet collars?"

"...cigarettes?"

"Where are your ELECTRONICS?"

*Wait, WHAT??!!!!*

THAT....that last one.... that has to be the worst one. It differs from the others in the obvious sense that it is one genre of merchandise that we actually carry. However, when I hear that question, I feel like flailing my arms about wildly and asking them if they are blind. Are we not in Best Buy? Are you living under a rock and haven't realized we are the largest electronics retail chain in the United States? Did you fall into this store by accident, unaware of where the aliens dropped you after they took your brain?! It wouldn't be so bad also if the customers weren't asking me this AFTER they'd walked around the store. Truly, words fail me.

Stupidity abounds. It floats freely through the air of Louisiana and its surrounding parts like a disease, claiming victim after victim. It seems to fall at my feet, in my lap, on my head and in my hands...it accumulates... at Best Buy.


Oh and one amusing thing I was told by a customer today, one more little thing before I go.

A lady told us she was going home to play her "DSL game on her Super Nintendo" ...

I am sure she meant she had a Nintendo DS game she wanted to play, but hey....a DSL game is better, and playing it on a Super NES no less? Now that's truly special.

*brain explodes*